Sometimes BE says and does things that are completely contradictory. For example, she is very fond of saying, “I love you momma” several times a day. Now, I’m not complaining about that, but I do think that she mostly does this just to be reassured.
Anyway, we were in the car recently, and she told me that some kids don’t know how to love. I told her that was ok. Then, she told me that she didn’t know how to love. I told her that was ok too. I explained my philosophy – that love is part feelings and part decisions. That sometimes, you don’t always feel that you love someone, but that doesn’t mean that you quit. You remind yourself of the commitment, the decision that you made. And sometimes, you don’t start to love someone until after you’ve committed to the relationship, until you begin to treat them lovingly.
BE said that she thinks J and I tell her that we love her just to be nice. Of course, I responded by saying that in that case, we would be lying, and lying is not nice at all.
I was rather pleased with myself until the next day when BE told me that she wished I weren’t her mother anymore. Why? Just because she didn’t want to take a bath. Don’t “they” always say something about taking two steps forward and one step back? To BE’s credit, she later apologized – totally unprompted.