First family questions

The kids don’t often talk about their parents, but when the topic comes up, I always try to follow the advice in the adoption books.  The authors always lecture readers about respecting their children’s first family. And, actually it’s not very hard for me to do this. Although I know a lot about their history, I don’t truly understand their feelings, personalities, and experiences. Because of this, I don’t have any anger towards them.

BE brought up her first parents this morning. She told me that she wanted to write them a letter. This is difficult because, although I’m not opposed to her finding them as an adult, I don’t think it would be wise to do it now. I’m thankful that up to this point she hasn’t asked me more questions about what happened to them. I know that I will have to address this when she gets older, but for now, I’m happy to put it off.

I was able to come up with a simple solution to her request. I suggested that she write them a letter that we can save until she’s an adult. If she wants to find her parents, she’ll be able to give it to them then. Fortunately for me, she was satisfied with that answer.

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4 thoughts on “First family questions

  1. Writing a letter right now is a great idea! What a sweet thing that will be for her to have to give when she’s older.

    We’re waiting a while longer before doing “the search” with our boys, too. Just in case there’s rejection or something else that really young hearts might not be ready to process waiting for them at the other end. Hopefully there’s not, but we don’t know. We’re planning on making that a middle- or high-school thing.

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