Finding families for children

Book review: The Family of Adoption by Joyce Maguire Pavao

I’ve read a lot of adoption books by now, and the first five chapters of  The Family of Adoption (there are only six) are pretty basic. The author is the founder of the Center for Family Connections – an adoption resource center. She spends most of the book giving an overview of the challenges that all members of the adoption triad face. This would likely be a good book for someone who is just starting to look into adoption. Throughout the book, she emphasizes that adoption is “not about finding children for families, but about finding families for children.”

Although I didn’t learn much from chapters one through five, for me, the best part of the book was chapter six.

J and I have been very open about keeping our children’s pre-adoption connections. As I’ve mentioned before, the kids have monthly visits with their biological aunt. We also keep in touch with the kids’ foster family and their half brother. Even so, chapter six, called “Keeping Connections,” really challenged me to consider an even more open approach. We won’t be taking any specific steps right now, but I think that our views are simply evolving. I’ll be sure to write more about this and to share how our choices are working out for us.

Even though I don’t have more specifics to share right now, I did want to include this quote from the book: “The greatest gift that one can give children is to tell them their truths, and to make sense of these truths, especially when they are complicated or harsh.”

Does anyone out there have an experience with opening up an adoption? If so, please share it in the comments!

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