No matter how many years I know my kids, I’m sure there will always be things about them that I will never understand. I’ve written about BE and BC’s Life Books before, and occasionally, BE will want to look through hers together. The other night, we were looking at it, and I read one page to her that I’ve always thought is very important, but she’s never seemed to care much about it. One sentence on the page says, “Whatever reason you are not living with your birth family, it is not your fault.”
This time, she responded by saying, “yes it is.” So, we talked about how people make their own choices and how children cannot force their parents to do anything that they don’t want to do. That was the closest we’ve ever come to discussing exactly why she doesn’t live with her first parents – this is a conversation I’m not looking forward to having because it’s not a nice story. We still didn’t address it directly, but at least we set the stage for next time.